Saturday, December 24, 2005

Of arranged marriages and research projects...

The 4 of us, that's me, Abhishek, Arpan and Sandipan were just sitting around making small talk the night before yesterday when the topic veered towards marriages. I'll leave some of the unprintable parts of it out, but eventually as it came down to a question of arranged marriage, majority of the group thought the whole idea of arranged marriage seemed unfathomable to me, especially if there has not been a sufficient amount of a courtship period. Arpan then interjected with a gem. It went like this: An arranged marriage is like a research project a PhD student gets placed on; he has to learn to love it along the way.....


Anonymous Mangesh said...

Dude, the amount of research ive done on it, i cud have scored a PhD in Marriage! :-) And trust me.. No matter how much you know each other in the "courtship / love" period, things are BOUND TO CHANGE once u 2 start living together!!! Thats the bottomline mate!

Anyways, am off for celebrating the new year at Goa!!! Ill be back on 2nd Jan.. shall ttu then! Chal have a great news yrs end! Good luck with your work.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Minal said...

Here is another theory: If it weren't for arranged marraiges 75% of Indians would have remained single!

Though it is difficult to go through the process of arranged marraige and love marraige gives you a comfortable start;in the long run love/arranged really does not make any difference as long as the two people involved understand each other!

3:10 AM  
Blogger Tugga said...

@Minal :That's a purely hypothetical and unrealistic situation. What would invariably happen in such a case is that Indian society would have to lighten up to make dating a more common phenomenon.

11:10 AM  
Blogger RPM said...

I am not sure how much more value a longer courtship period brings in. Heck, here in America, couples living together for years get married and end up getting divorced quickly.

I like the analogy with a PhD project - except that you get to choose your spouse from various people you 'meet'. I guess with PhD projects, you may not have much choice of project-mentor combinations.

In my case (happily arranged married for over 5 years now), I met with a few girls, had the standard talks and realized there was one girl with whom what we talked was less important than how well we 'connected'. That was it. I decided then that it was all worth it.

The concept of arranged marriage is unfathomable unless you actually go through it and find someone you like.

7:34 PM  
Blogger Tugga said...


5:37 PM  
Blogger Minal said...

@Tugga: :-) Now you are living in a hypothetical world. Remember 80% of India is still rural and we are a part of the remaining 20%!
And you get married first then we'll discuss what works:-)

7:29 AM  
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4:23 PM  
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4:26 PM  

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